Caring for my mother has brought my time to come to a full circle. I am now the caregiver for my mother. A task that is close to my heart.
Ironically, I never “nested” while I was pregnant, I pretty much wing it, and to some extent still do. When it comes to my mother on the other hand, I find myself doing a lot of preparations.
This has been the one thing that has really jump at me. Fixing the house has been my priority. My only major hold back has been money, but still I keep working toward fixing it a little at a time. Home preparations are the inspiration for this blog.
I hope to monetize through ads, sponsorship, and marketing so that I can generate money to continue fixing the house and giving my mom a more comfortable living.
Also, making easy access for my mom to move about, removing clutter, making her things accessible. Keeping the house dust and allergen free.
For years, since my mother retired, I have asked her about her health insurance. She would always reply “I am covered.” This year, she was not feeling well and I asked her for her insurance information. She finally opened up and gave me the information I needed to help her out. I was able, with her help, to choose her new insurance for next year and register myself as her representative so I can make decisions and speak on her behalf.
Keeping her active is another way to care for her health. I have learned that all the changes to the house that I am planning on doing, and the organization are not only going to make the house a more comfortable place to live, but will allow my mom to go outside and garden or just sit and enjoy the sunshine. Gardening will foster similar exercises as gym exercises but give her a sense of accomplishment and serenity.
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Making sure my mom is eating is very important. My mom sometimes doesn’t feel well to be standing too long cooking, so preparing meals for her and serving her helps her out a lot.
I also want to make sure that my mom is getting all the nutrition she needs. as our bodies age we are not able to digest or synthesize some of the valuable nutrients we need. So, giving her nutrient rich meals is another pet project.
I have to admit that for some time now I have been career focused. I used to work long hours for the overtime pay, and dedicated tons of hours to go back to school, in the hopes for a higher paying career. Since I started working for the public school system I started getting my summers off, which has provided me with time at home with both my children and my mother, which she seems to enjoy.
In contrast to whom I was a few years back, now my mom and I have been talking about possibly cutting back more hours at work and spending more time at home. I have already cut off hours at my second job, and it has paid off. I spend most of my evenings and my weekend mornings chatting with my mother opening lines of communication and trust that once where barely there. It is by no means easy for we are two very distinct personalities, but when it comes to her and her comfort I dwell in our common ground. There we are able to meet and share.
Ways to give companionship that have worked for me:
- Gardening, we share this common ground. I enjoy playing with dirt. It is my hope to start a small homestead, but that is still in the future. Both my mom and I love Orchids, and our collections keeps growing.
- Cooking, she loves to watch cooking shows and I have a Culinary Certification. A great combination! She loves it when I cook, probably because it is painful to be standing for that period of time, or because she doesn’t want to smell like food. We will never know, ha-ha!
- Family stories/History, I think I got my writing from her for she is the biggest family storyteller/history keeper. Everything has a story attached to it. It used to drive me absolutely bonkers. Now, I prompt her to tell me about her childhood, her life in New York, and so on.
- Watching TCM Network/PBS, old movies and PBS. When the children are gone we’ll spend time watching Greta Gabor, Gregory Peck, Jimmy Stewart. My mom loves telling me about historical moments as she watches the movies.
- Day dreaming about the house potential, PBS helps us do this. We will think about the changes we want to do to the house and how we could accomplish them.
If you have the privilege to be around your elder parent, find the time to make connections with him or her. If you don’t, find the time to make connections. Not only does it help the parents help and psychological well being, but it also helps you too.